Who Would Be the Bass Player?
We love pop culture as much as the next person here at The Bass Channel, so we thought it would be fun to turn some of our favorite pop culture groups into bands and figure out who would be the bass player. Yes, and the singer, drummer, and guitar player because we can’t forget them.
The Group- (from left to right) R2D2, C3P0, Obi-Wan, Luke
Who would be the bass player- R2 is the bass player of this group. He drives the plot forward, he has the plans in his head, and even though Luke is in charge of him, he made Luke do what he wanted.
Who is everyone else- 3P0 is the drummer because that way he can’t talk to the audience. He’s also the only one who understands R2, and that connection is important in a bass/drummer. Obi-Wan is the lead guitar player. He’s got the experience and the licks. He can do tricks with the guitar, but doesn’t need to be out in front. Luke is the rhythm guitar player. He’s young, he’s cute, and he’s inexperienced. They don’t have a singer yet, but they’re going to meet him in Mos Eisley.
The Group- (from left to right) Hermione, Harry, Ron
Who is the bass player- Ron. Ron’s a bass player through and through. Always overlooked for his smarter or more famous friend? Check. Using hand-me-down gear that doesn’t work all the time, but making that part of his charm? Check. Able to perform when called upon? Check. Sullen? Check.
Who is everyone else- Hermione is the drummer. She also writes all the music and the lyrics, books the gigs, manages the band, runs the social media, and sleeps with the bass player. Harry is the guitar player and singer. Of course he is, he’s the Chosen One.
The Group- (from left to right)- Simone, Ferris, Cameron
Who is the bass player- Cameron is the bass player. Cameron is the bass player because most of you didn’t even remember that his name is Cameron until you read it just now. You would have called him “That guy with Ferris.”
Who is everyone else- Simone is the drummer. She’s got a head on her shoulders and can somehow keep Ferris in line and on time. Ferris is the guitar player and singer. Everyone loves Ferris. The band is called “Ferris”. He’s only middling at guitar and singing, but he’s got charisma for days so it doesn’t matter. But when he does interviews he always brings Cameron along and makes him answer at least one question. There are YouTube channels dedicated to Ferris.
The Group- (from left to right)- Dorothy, Sophia, Rose, Blanche
Who is the bass player- Dorothy is the bass player. She’s actually an accomplished guitar player and she writes all the music, but no one else wanted to play the bass so she picked it up just to avoid the argument. She writes killer bass lines.
Who is everyone else- Rose is the drummer. Dorothy is able to downplay her natural stage fright by having the excuse of standing next to the drum riser and keep Rose on the one and the right song. Blanche is the guitar player because she figures it’s the sexiest choice and it’ll get her the most groupies. Sophia is the singer because the thought of her berating the audience between songs like a tiny old Jello Biafra has made me laugh for the last five minutes.
The Group- (from left to right)- The Token, Dumb Eye Candy, Autism Is Funny, I’m a Nice Guy, Basically a Sex Offender
Who is the bass player- Who cares, screw this show.
Who is everyone else-
The Group- (from left to right)- Brian Fantana, Ron Burgundy, Champ, Brick Tamland
Who is the bass player- Brick was supposed to be the bass player. Brick did not understand and brought a fish to practice. Rather than correct they let him stand to the side and slap the fish around.
Who is everyone else- Brian is the guitar player because he’s got a line of signature “Sex Panther” guitars. Ron is the singer and he also carries a guitar on stage, but he gets overexcited and smashes it before the set even starts. Champ is the drummer because he get to, and I quote, “bang it hard.”
The Group- (from left to right)- Spock, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty
Who is the bass player- Leonard “Bones'“ McCoy is the bass player because guitar players need someone with a soul to help them out, damnit. Playing bass lets him keep Kirk in line and keep an eye on the pointy-eared guitar player. He secretly loves the low end and works hard at looking grumpy during sets and practices, but everyone knows he loves it because of the care he puts into his parts.
Who is everyone else- Scotty is the drummer because he’s an engineer and needs to feel like he’s controlling the whole ship. He also likes controlling the tempo, often telling the other members, “I canna play any faster.” Mr. Spock is the aloof and technically brilliant guitar player. And while McCoy is right that his playing can sometimes be overwhelmed by music theory, there is always a human heart at the center of it. Kirk is the singer because he wouldn’t have it any other way and the others know that no one can control a crowd better. His Kirk-fu stage moves are mimicked all over.
This band also makes better music than the first band (or any other band) on the list, but gets less credit because the music is smarter and not as flashy.
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That will do it for this edition of Who is the Bass Player, but I enjoyed writing it and I think there will be more of these to come. I can see a Cartoon Edition in our future. What did you think of the bands I put together? Jump into the comments and tell me where I’m wrong and what pop culture groups you’d turn into bands.
Doug Robertson is the editor of The Bass Blog, the blog component of The Bass Channel, your one stop YouTube channel for all things bass. His number one is a Mexican Geddy Lee Signature Jazz and his boomer is a BEAD tuned T-Bird. Find books by Doug here. If you’re interested in contributing to The Bass Blog please reach out to Doug at doug@thebasschannel.net. We would love to hear from you. Yes, Trek is the best. Picard is the best captain too.
